Saturday, March 28, 2009

When Moon loves Earth

This is a fictional story I wrote for reviewing knowledge I learned from some of the events and the words I learned from the contest.


In 3009, with the development of the technology and the successful decoding the technic of aliens by analyzing the data acquired from a satellite, scientists invent how to plant a flower as installing a microcomputer on the top of the head in order to save the memory and transform the sun power into nutrition which is provided for a human body. Moreover, another greater benefit for human is that we can transplant our memory. For instance, before a person will die, the flower, on top of his head, can be moved from his head to another person’s head, for example, the person’s child. Therefore, the child who maybe is 3-year-old has the competence of his father and can continue to do his father’s work. Hence, planting a flower on top of the head is increasing popular everywhere, this kind of people now is ubiquitous. Jac, who is one of them, now is sent to a hospital after a serious car accident.

Monday, March 23, 3009
On the top of Jac’s head, it’s his flower named Earth, he calls it that because he was born on the moon and bought the flower from a shop on the earth. He is a luck man, without nutrition from his flower, he wasn’t able to survive in the mountainous area until someone found him sleeping on the road next to his broken car. Now he is lethargically and hopelessly lying on the bed. In the same sickroom, living in a girl, her name is Cob, she intends to be an immigrant on the moon and start a new life there, so she names her flower Moon. She got a headache since two weeks ago due to her heavy press from her job. Now she is reading a book named’ The Aesthetic Faculties of Aliens’ with peace and content. ‘The Aesthetic Faculties of Aliens’ is quite well known in 22 centuries after everyone celebrated the first city being built on the surface of the moon. In this book, the writer sets a hypothesis about aliens’ wisdom and intelligence, and most of us believe ‘The Aesthetic Faculties of Aliens’ can teach you how to communicate with aliens such as Martians and transformers once they meet them. Although we, including the writer, just watch aliens from movies and TV programs, we don’t know exactly what they like and what they eat and some of us merely meet aliens in their dreams, even it is said that the writer got the idea to write this book from the God while he slept on a spaceship traveling to the moon, so in order to appreciate the chance he had for visiting the moon, he wrote this book.

Tuesday, March 24, 3009
After sleeping for nearly 20 hours, Jac recovers his mind, despite he is still tired and is lack of energy. He takes a look around and tries to remember what happen in these days. However, he realizes that he can’t remember anything, it seams that he lost his memory. In addition, he tries to download the backup of his memory from his flower, but Earth is still sleeping. Cob feels refreshing and energetic today caused she gets the news that she can leave the hospital this Sunday. She is delight and she starts to prose what she will do after she leaving the hospital, where she has spent nearly two weeks. In addition, now, Moon, her flower also feels delight and affectionate while he is focusing on Earth, and she is attracted by his shape: not like the flowers on the moon, it is smooth and natural. She assumes that she falls in love with Earth.

Wednesday, March 25, 3009
Jac wakes up early in this morning, and he feels a bit well. When he can retain the cheerful emotion for 5 minutes, he receives a bad news from a doctor: He has to take an operation to cut off his left hand’s middle finger, because it’s out of control. (Here, it is just a ridiculous example for fun and shows how luckily Jac is!) In general condition, if Jac lives on the earth, he doesn’t need to do that, but the problem is that he is the resident of the moon, all of them including Jac, they are the pioneers of the human to meet the aliens. As far as we know, sometimes the circumstance is complicated, contributing to different cultures and believes, a middle finger could lead to misunderstand and conflict among two totally different nations. Moreover, it’s incredible that this absurd criterion, from Jac’s estimation, comes from the famous ‘‘The Aesthetic Faculties of Aliens’. Obviously the doctor who gives the advice to Jac and emphasizes the importance of this operation is a crazy fan of that book. He feels frustrated and desperate, he tries to search and download the data from Earth in order to turn his mind on another thing. But unfortunately, he feels more painful because he finds out the memory concerning a falling-out among him and his girlfriend before the car accident. At that time, he realized that the girl he loved so much, just regarded him as her money machine to earn L$ from the beginning he knew her. Where is the God of Jac’s? He feels that today is the end of the world. Earth endeavors to console him and reduce his pain, but it seems that Jac turns a death ear to Earth’ words and is cut off from the outside world. In the wrong place and at the wrong time poor Jac has to accept the wrong thing. While Jac wants to suicide, in another part of the sickroom, Cob feels peaceful because she is full of hope about the life after she leaves the hospital. In addition, Moon smiles to Earth, and praise what he has done for fostering Jac. After Jac and Cob fall asleep at the end of this day, they start a conversation. They talk about the people’s life on the moon, what they have seen and share the memory and secret they save. With times pass on, they realize that they love each other so much. Therefore, they decide to implement Jac and Cob becoming a couple for they can have an opportunity to live together forever.

Thursday, March 26, 3009
After taking operation, sleeping and waking up this morning, Jac feels better and comes over hurdles, rebuilds his confident and hope in his mind. Furthermore, then, he starts to talk to Cob, his roommate. They chat about their family and their job. When they increasingly understand each other, the Earth and Moon smile to each other, because Earth had created a good image and a fantastic story about Cob and saved as one part of memory of Jac; Moon had taken the same way to affect Cob’s brain. Now, their discreet plan is going on, the effect is appeared clearly. In the afternoon, when Jac and Cob share some funny story, the boring doctor comes back and brings another bad news to Jac: he has to cut off the other middle finger for the same reason! There maybe is something wrong with the doctor, maybe he begrudges Jac because he lives on the moon, and maybe he is driven by his flower. However, in surprised, no matter what will happen, Jac just accepts this extremely brutal operation with the aloof and morose emotion, no crying and no shouting. It is really strange, maybe he is existing so much about the time when he chats with Cob.

Friday, March 27, 3009
It’s really a beautiful day, for most of the working people, They will take a break tomorrow and sooner. However, when Jac and Cob enjoy themselves, in the afternoon, Cob gets the news that her company is bankrupt as a result of several circumstances such as economic crisis concurring to bring out the result. It’s really a black Friday for Cob. Suddenly, everything has changed, she is strained and jittery. Jac uses relating some stories this kind of approach to soothe Cob. That certainly enhances their friendship.

Saturday, March 28, 3009
Jac and Cob, both feel delight and congenial, they talk about dream, they exchange views about the moon and the earth, just like close friends. Meanwhile, for Earth and Moon, they are so busy working together to create some consciousness and memory which will increase the relationship of Jac and Cob.

Sunday, March 29, 3009
It is the last day for Cob staying in this hospital, both Jac and Cob feel ambiguous to decide something, It seems they don’t want to end something and make a decision. Finally, with the potential influence of Earth, Jac encourages himself to ask Cob to be his girlfriend. He doesn’t want to lose her. Cob agrees with him, which will be very romantic from today.

As we know, sometimes a small step of the human is the big step of the world. Jac and cob’s decision will clearly show that it is the first event flowers oblige human by using their wisdom. In order to commemorate Moon and Earth, their off-springs decide to write a story called ‘When Jac falls in live with Cob’.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Jacob,

Well done here are my comments:

1. with the development of technology (you don't need the article here)

2. If you are talking about the future you should use 'scientists invented how to plant a flower'

3. humans (plural) or mankind would be better here

4. before a person dies

5. 3 years old (plural)

6. is increasingly popular everywhere

7. these kind of people (plural) not this

8. has been sent to hospital (use present perfect here)

9. On the top of Jac's head is his flower named Earth

10. lucky man

11. lethargic

12. staying in the same sick room is a girl...

13. She has had a headache for 2 weeks (present perfect )

14. due to stress of her job?

15. In 2200 not 22 centuries

16. Watch out for long sentences

17. despite this he is...

18. in the past few days

19. refreshed and energetic - use the 'ed' if you are talking about how someone feels - I am bored not I am boring for example

20. seems - not seam

21. She is delighted and not delight

22. Starts to prose? Think about ?

23. She assumes she will fall in love with earth

24. Jac wakes up and feels a bit better (not a bit well)

25. bad news - no article

26. have + operation

27. how lucky Jac is - not luckily

28. of the humans meeting the aliens

29. circumstances are complicated - use the plural here

30. beliefs - not believes

31. he feels more hurt because he comes across a memory of falling out with his girlfriend before the accident

32. Where is Jac's God?

33. commit suicide - collocation

34. After having the operation

35. confidence - not confident

36. shared a funny story

37. some stories of this kind of situation to soothe Cob

38. delight and congenial are not the best words to use here - try something else

39. off-spring

Wow, this is a wonderful story and very well written. Watch out for using -ing and -ed and present perfect otherwise what a wonderful sad story with a happy hopeful ending.

Have you been to the Dark Mines place at Languagelab - our Sci-Fi place....

Jessie Teacher

Jacob.wang said...

Thank you, Jessie. And I am not quite sure about how to use the -ing or -ed and present perfect if the thing I want to describe happen in the future.

Sorry, I haven't been to the Dark Mines,but I really want to go to there, because it is a Sci-Fi place.